“You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her. Because you don’t destroy the people, you love.”
I think the problem with our society today, and frankly, our mindset, is that we give too many fucks about all of the wrong things. We care if someone likes our hair, we care if someone likes the way we dress, talk, act, sing, dance, sleep, smell, the list is literally endless. Like what are we hoping for? The hard truth is; people fucking suck. So what we need to give fucks about is our self. How we feel, what we want, what makes us happy, and if we love ourselves.
If you are anything like me, you believe people are innately good. You take them at their word, and you give everything you have. I am not saying that is bad it’s just the hard way. And no, I don’t think we can help it. It is what it is, and we are who we are. We are more susceptible to heartbreak. One day, sweet soul you will find the one the appreciates you and all of your baggage. Because let’s be honest, we all have baggage.
I would rather be single, working on myself for myself, building an empire and loving me, than be in a strained relationship that is subpar. I want to fall in love, make babies and grow old with someone. That will never change, but I have come to realize that the more you push for these things the further you set yourself back. So I’ll be here loving life while the miserable fuck that tried to destroy me is out there living a lie with some poor girl that deserves better.
You would think that by now I would be some sad, cynical 28 year old, but I’m not. I take each experience in stride and build from that, it makes ME better. I learn more about MYSELF, and I am literally preparing myself for my future lover, the lover that deserves me. It used to really get under my skin when people treated me badly because it left me feeling like there was something wrong with me. I took a step back and said FUCK THAT, there is nothing wrong with me. My only fault is seeing the good in bad people, people with ugly hearts and ill intentions. If you’re reading this you miserable fuck, you’ll miss me someday. I was the best you’ll ever have and never deserved, but I’m better for that. So, thank you for trying your damnedest to break me. The best revenge is being able to move on and be happy, ignoring your snide remarks and your lame digs at my character. I’m sorry that you don’t love yourself enough, I’m sorry that you don’t know your worth, and I’m sorry that you have to hurt people to feel better about yourself.
There are many lessons to learn in life and love, and I have barely scratched the surface. This leaves me feeling hopeful, and I find comfort in knowing that I still have time. I think it’s admirable to be able to understand that one: things happen for a reason, and two: shitty people make you better, they teach you so many things. Most importantly, they show you what you DONT want. Chin up, my darling, you are going to be just fine. Let karma handle the dirty work and move forward, go be a badass, go find yourself keep your heart open and LOVE YOU. EVERY.DAMN.DAY. Silence wins, it’s not a weakness. Silence only kills the person trying to do harm, because they need you to stoop to their level and throw shade, but don’t you dare do it. Walk away with your pride, sanity, and sense of self.
Your person is out there, no need to rush. Take your time, date yourself and be kind in the process. You have so much to offer this world, things that don’t work out aren’t meant to be. So stop putting all of your energy into things that are already broken, broken beyond repair. Time is precious, spend it doing things worth while.
-Ky
Ky's Werld 