Keep Me wild

“I do not want my idea of you, that is too easy and it is not real. I want you, faults and all, and I want you to want me, faults and all. Not any ideas you have about love.”  – Waylon Lewis

My brain is always going going going, I can’t seem to ever shut it off. As I sit in my chair at work listening to my music, (“say you’re gonna miss me” by Wistful), I realized that relationships don’t work out for me because the person who pursues me tries to tame me.When threatened with a life in a “cage” I run or get weird. I start to feel suffocated and lost.

I am not ashamed to admit that, who wants to be caged like a zoo animal? I think if you are going to love me or even be my friend you shouldn’t feel the need to tame or change me. That should be a rule that everyone lives by. It’s mind boggling that we try and “mold” our lovers and friends. I like my lovers wild and my friends real. It’s not a true match if you feel you must change them, now is it?

I am sure there are studies out there, or there should be, on relationships. untamed ones, lovers lack the desire to change their partners and then ones where partners are over there creating clay pottery partners… Love isn’t perfect, anyone that thinks it is, is insane. That’s half the fun, learning and GROWING with another person. There are people that you see together or know as a couple and they just make so much sense together.  I want that for myself. I don’t want the kind of love that is like trying to shove a triangle into a square. it’s exhausting and a complete waste of time, its never going to fit guys… let that shit go. Stop the suffering already 🙂 I get it, most people see dating as a hassle and don’t ant to be a part of it. We all understand, trust me. Dating is hard because people suck. But let’s talk about this for a second… you’d rather spend a lifetime with someone that doesn’t truly get you or make you happy than be single for a little longer and find the one that sets your soul on fire? Not me, give me single all day long. I don’t want to sacrifice myself for that, that is not love.

Unfortunately, we all have been mind fucked by society so we build these dumb timelines that we want to follow religiously.  “I have to have a kid by this time or it’s just not in the cards for me, I need a husband, I’m 25… all of my friends are married…” the list goes on. Stop falling into that trap, it’s just not true guys. With the exception of babies, you have until you’re dead. And when you’re dead you’re not thinking about life partners and babies. What I am trying to say is that it will happen when it’s meant to happen. This is something that I still struggle with and probably will until some poor bastard is courageous enough to lock this down.

Being human means that we feel, we struggle, we laugh, we cry, we yell, we are happy and sad and confused and a little cynical or too trusting… and unless you ae a robot you are going to feel about half of these emotions on a daily basis. So try to remind yourself that things happen in their own time, and these thoughts and feels are just a part of the process. It’s normal, I promise. This too shall pass, chances of you being single for the rest of your life, if you are putting yourself out there, well that’s just silly. DOnt settle for the first dark that barks for your treat but rest assured that if you do, you will probably only make that mistake once. Wait for the dog that loves you unconditionally, thinks you are perfect just the way that you are because it’s out there. Have self-respect, have courage and god damn it, know what you want and do no waiver. You’ll regret it one day if you do.

-ky