Monday started off well for me, even with the lack of sleep. I found myself chipper and ready to conquer the week. I headed up to the 12th floor to chat with a friend and somehow we landed on the subject of my love life, or lack thereof. I was not prepared for what happened next. My friend says to me ” I’m gonna be a slight asshole for a second here, you’re kind of a bitch, you lift, you’re gorgeous and you are intimidating to men. That makes the dating pool a lot smaller for you because they’re aren’t many guys that can handle/really want that.” I was shocked, ya’ll. Pretty sure I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. I don’t think she meant to be mean, but I’ve never ever been told that I’m a bitch so it hurt. I wouldn’t classify myself as such, but I guess no one ever really does, right?
It got to me and ruined my mood for sure. I let it, but fuck that was really discouraging to hear. Like one minute I feel like I am too nice to people and then the next someone is telling me that I am full of faults and that even tho’ I am a nice girl this is probably why no one wants to date me. Thanks for the vote of confidence there, now I feel absolutely horrible and questioning if I am actually a bitch.
Don’t let the bastards get you down, don’t let the bastards get you down… on repeat in my head. I have learned, even though it was hard to hear that, that I can’t and will not apologize for who I am, my sass, my style, my ability to lift heavy things and put them back down, those are what I like to call passions. I am passionate and strive for greatness. My greatness, not anyone else’s idea of it. I will not put up with your bullshit and if that is intimidating to you, move on. If posting photos on Instagram is annoying and a turn-off, don’t fucking follow me. My business is to help and empower women, so yeah I am going to post a photo of me at the gym, with a message attached that I know helps people.
I’m not an idiot, I realize I am not for everyone and I realize that a lot of people are totally okay with people treating them like shit, everyone is so afraid to speak their minds. NOT MY CHAIR NOT MY PROBLEM. If believing in myself, taking care of my body and being able to speak my mind is intimidating to you, then I am not for you BRO.
I’ve spent the majority of my life caring and giving to others and not taking care of myself, letting folks talk down to me and walking all over me. I am not about to let that become my life again. The thing is, I love who I am, I love that I can sass back, and I like being strong, mentally and physically. I am proud of my hard work, and when you are reaching for the stars you stop at nothing to get there. I don’t expect everyone to understand the journey or the reasoning behind what I do, it’s none of your business anyway.
I guess that no matter who you are, what you do, how good a person you are people will always find a reason to throw shade, stand strong little darling. In a moment a weakness I let this bother me, but I guess I get it, and I am letting it go. I know there are people that appreciate me and love me for everything that I am, good, bad and ugly. I am not a perfect person and I never will be; I don’t want that. I can’t always be nice, I’m not always happy, I curse too much, I’m moody, I’m sensitive, I am hard headed and stubborn. I can’t and refuse to be invisible and I absolutely don’t want to waste any of my fucks on things of this nature. So starting today, I’m letting that shit roll off my back. I know who I am and I’m okay with it, I can’t waste time trying to please people that don’t even care in the first place. Quality over quantity people. Self-love is an ongoing and uphill battle, but it’s one I will never back down from. I love myself today, I will love myself tomorrow and all of the days after that. I will do my very best to not let anyone dull my sunshine.
-ky
Ky's Werld 